Crazy-Ass Stretcher Ideas

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Welcome to Crazy-Ass Stretcher Ideas

Hello, my name is Eric. And I have an addiction. This addiction is not to crack, or booze, or skanky women, but to the idea of creating businesses. For years I have suffered with ideas that I haven't been able to convert into reality, either from the lack of funds, the lack of experience, the lack of knowing how to begin, or some combination of the three.

My therapist felt it would help speed my recovery if I made some effort to "confess my weakness" openly and learn to lean on others. Since there is no support group for business idea addicts, we decided together that I would turn to the world wide web and post my stories, experiences, and lessons from the school of "hard knocks" for all to read. In doing so, Dr. Finkstrom believes that I will gain the daily mental and emotional reinforcement that I need to begin the healing process.

That having been said, let me introduce myself and this blog, which I have named "Crazy-Ass Stretcher Ideas". I will explain that in a moment.

I'm a 30 year old white guy, born and raised in the scorching desert of Arizona. I currently reside in the cool climate of Utah, with my wonderful wife and two adorable children. I have started an unbelievable amount of businesses over the years, and have always been plagued with ideas I never had a chance to start. About 8 years ago, I was living in Utah for a brief time, and was involved in a laptop computer leasing business with a couple of guys I'd recently met. The three of us were peas in a pod. Entrepreneurs at heart. Willing to take risks for big rewards. Oh those days were fun. Entirely unprofitable, but fun.

One day, we were cleaning up the office space we were renting, so we could repaint the walls. We had moved our massive conference table (which was pretty stinkin' ugly, I recall...) into a nearby room, along with the huge cinder block legs it stood on. It was tasteful cinder block, not trailer-trash cinder block. Anyway, as it came time to move the table back into it's original position in the conference room, we were just too dang worn out to move those heavy cinder block legs again. As we sat there, trying to figure out some way to leverage what strength we had left, I noticed Bob (We'll call him Bob to protect his innocence in this story) eyeballing the table, then the legs, then the table, then the legs. I could tell that he was trying to decide if we could put the cinder blocks ON the table, and carry the table like a stretcher into the conference room. Before he voiced his idea, I said "Don't tell me you're thinking about some crazy-ass stretcher idea!" We both suddenly burst into laughter, both because that's exactly what he was thinking, and because I guessed it right off.

Since those days of trying to sell laptops to people with the worst credit we've both ever seen in our lives, the term "Crazy-Ass Stretcher Idea" has been the official term we've used to describe any "next great business idea" either of us have come up with. It's a phrase that has transformed into an adjective. And it only felt appropriate that I name this therapeutic blog accordingly. So stay tuned, and feel free to share your comments, condolences, support, or even smart remarks. It's all good, and hopefully will help me overcome this addiction quickly, so I don't have to keep paying Dr. Finkstrom $140 a session.

By the way, the original conference table stretcher idea did NOT work.